Cold As Ice
by StarFire and Sakura
Summary: [One shot] For the third time, she couldn’t speak. All she could do was die. That’s what she had thought at the time, anyway. HinamoriHitsugaya, spoilers past Soul Society arc


A hand gently felt an icy cold gravestone, fingers tracing over the engraved letters of his name.

HITSUGAYA TOUSHIROU.

"Shiro-chan…" Hinamori Momo finally spoke, breaking the silence of the night. _Shiro-chan. _She had always called him that, even when they were just children. When they both entered the Gotei 13, she called him Hitsugaya-kun, but she still sometimes slipped in a "Shiro-chan," which, of course, meant he would scold her.

Not that he could scold her anymore.

In fact, the only night he hadn't gotten mad at her was when… when she attacked him. She remembered it so clearly; she had attacked him, then he shouted at her, reasoning, calling her an idiot. _Which I was, _Hinamori thought bitterly.

But he couldn't call her an idiot anymore.

But this only reminded her of the cold reality, and that led to _that… _

She closed her eyes as she remembered that day.

The day they brought his body in.

After a long trail of gloomy days, it was finally sunny. Hinamori had smiled brightly. _Finally, _some sun! After getting dressed, she pranced outside. She had stopped abruptly when she saw a girl crying.

She had recognized the girl as a member of 10th division; also, she admired Hitsugaya very much. Not quite to the point as Hinamori had with Aizen, but still very strongly.

Other shinigami had come to try and comfort the girl, so Hinamori had figured her presence wasn't needed. Instead, she had looked around and spotted Matsumoto.

"Matsumoto-san!" she had called. She had run over to the 10th division lieutenant, who appeared not to have heard her. In fact, Matsumoto had been holding her face in one hand, and Hinamori could've sworn she saw a tear trickle down the normally airheaded girl's face.

"Matsumoto-san!" she had said worriedly. Matsumoto had jumped up, looking all the world like she thought Hinamori's voice was as loud as thunder.

"Hina…mori…" Matsumoto had replied weakly. Suddenly, seeing the smile on Hinamori's face, she had hung her head once again.

"Matsu…?" However, she had stopped when a large crowd gathered around a pathway. She had soon left to find out what was there.

She regretted going forever.

She first saw the white cloak, so she knew it had to be a captain. The cart had kept coming down as she continued staring.

Then she had seen the boyish face, the green eyes, his white hair.

"Hi…" The word caught in her throat. Although it was a warm day, the temperature seemed to plummet. His aqua eyes had been cold and lifeless, like colored glass. Parts of his white hair had become red because of the blood.

"Shi…" Again she found herself unable to speak. The sun had beaten brightly down upon his body, the not yet dry blood shining slightly. How _cruelly ironic _that the sun would shine so vibrantly when he was gone.

"To…" For the third time, she couldn't speak. All she could do was die.

That's what she had thought at the time, anyway.

She had awoken, with Matsumoto at her side, to tell her that she had fainted; her heart had actually slowed down. She actually could have died.

"I had a horrible dream, though." This had been one of the worst parts.

"A… dream?"

"Yes. Hitsugaya was dead." Hinamori smiled weakly. "But, it's only a dream, isn't it? There's no way it could happen." Her voice had been trembling. Matsumoto had only stared, pity in her eyes.

"Right?" Hinamori's eyes shone unsteadily. They seemed to be pleading, 'Tell me it's not true.'

But Matsumoto's face had told her otherwise.

"It… it can't be… more than a… a dream…" Hinamori's eyes had glistened with tears, as a voice inside her shouted, "_No! No! No!_"

"Tou…shi…rou…" Hinamori was sobbing now. She had never actually called him by his first name before; it was something she later reflected on and regretted. "Toushirou!" She had let out a small cry before sniffing and crying again.

She didn't know when Matsumoto left, or why. Perhaps it was because Hinamori's cries were too sad, too much. Perhaps she herself was mourning the death of her captain.

That was where Hinamori broke off from her memories. Instead of sitting in the 4th squad's room she was sitting at the grave, stroking the gravestone.

She had later been informed that Aizen was his murderer. She dimly remembered cursing Aizen in her head. She had looked up to him, almost loved him – now she despised him.

Not only that – she demanded Matsumoto tell her exactly what happened. Everything that happened. Included Aizen smiling and laughing while he killed Hitsugaya.

That was what made her hate Aizen more than anything else.

Hinamori felt her eyes narrow, a black desire well up in her heart – the desire to kill, to tear apart, to cause as much pain as possible to Aizen, the goddamn bastard who had killed Hitsugaya.

She closed her eyes and got up. She would have to wait. She would have to have patience, no matter how hard it was. Slowly, she walked out of the courtyard.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hinamori, for the first time in a year, slipped back into the cold graveyard. It was midnight, and the full moon shone brightly, illuminating the gloomy area. Once again, as she had done a year ago, she silently knelt down by his grave. She merely stood there staring at his name, remembering vividly all that had happened in a year's time, and all her memories of her beloved Shiro-chan… everything. Finally, after much pondering, she spoke.

"Toushirou." She gazed intently at the grave, as though she expected him to rise up and answer. "He's dead." At first, she didn't know who she was referring to. Was she saying it to herself, accepting the fact that her childhood friend was dead? No; she had done that long ago. She was telling the 10th squad captain that his killer was dead.

It had started with her asking Yoruichi for a favor – bankai training. After much pleading and persuading, she finally agreed. She was to take three days to train; if she didn't achieve it by then, a three day interval, then another three days of training, and so on until she reached bankai.

She didn't remember how long it took her to reach bankai; although she did remember what had happened during her training. Her test was a maze; at the end was bankai. However, along the way were the many obstacles of her heart. The cruelest one, Hinamori knew, was the one she had encountered on her 5th day of training.

She had been walking along the dark, damp corridors when she heard footsteps of a creature. She grew increasingly nervous with each step until she saw him.

"Hitsugaya!" She had cried. He had looked fine and healthy, his expression emotionless. Suddenly, he had drawn his sword and slashed at her, giving her a small cut on her cheek. She had felt a couple drops of blood dance down her cheek and onto the floor.

"Hitsu…?" Her eyes had grown wide with fear as Hitsugaya struck again. This time it had merely torn the fabric of her robe. Trembling, she had pulled out her sword. She had known she had to fight him – to kill him. But she couldn't. Hadn't she already gone through this? Hadn't she already seen his dead body? Could she bear to see it again?

But she had no time to think – he had lurched forward yet again, striking with such force that she stumbled back. He's not Hitsugaya! He's not Hitsugaya! She had kept telling that to herself, and finally, she had reeled forward and, closing her eyes, stabbed him. Blood had splattered onto her face, and although she had willed herself against it, she had opened her eyes.

It was only for a moment, but she had seen it. She had seen the lifeless eyes, the blood spurting from his wound, his skin turning pale. This had caused her to emit a screech so loud she was surprised Yoruichi hadn't heard her. Then the body had faded, never again to be seen. She had fallen to her knees, tears freely falling from her eyes, until light returned to her vision.

The time was up. Hinamori had looked up to see Yoruichi, thoroughly surprised, jumping down and running over to the poor black haired girl. It had been eventually decided Hinamori would not continue for a while.

Despite this setback, Hinamori persevered, and eventually met her goal – bankai. Soon after, an attack was launched – an attack on Aizen.

Needless to say, Hinamori immediately volunteered to lead one of the troops.

It had been a long and bloody fight, while she, along with Ukitake taichou, Kyouraku taichou, and Matsumoto fukutaichou, had confronted Aizen himself. She still remembered Aizen's taunting voice, her ever increasing rage, clutching her sword so tightly her hand started to bleed… Aizen's snide comment about Hitsugaya.

That, above all, had caused Hinamori to snap. How _dare _the bastard even _say _Hitsugaya's name! It had enraged her to such a point that she immediately used it.

"BANKAI!" She had shrieked it, her voice so high, full of malice and murderous intent. "TOBIUME INMETSU!"

Her sword had transformed into a beautiful sword, a bit longer and thinner than Tobiume, with a blade colored orchid and seemingly made of a slightly transparent substance. The hilt was a very dark purple with a turquoise ribbon hanging off the end.

Without thinking, she had stuck the sword in the ground. The area around it started glowing with a deep purple light. The wondrous glow spread into almost the entire room, soon reaching Aizen.

Perhaps, had he known about her bankai, he would have thought to move. Perhaps he was merely surprised that Hinamori had achieved it. No one knew. All anyone could see was Aizen being torn to pieces.

For that was the power of Hinamori's bankai – anything in the area was disintegrated, excluding the sword and the sword's wielder. Aizen had no time to move, no time to talk, no time to think.

He only had time to die.

After her bankai had ebbed away, Hinamori had merely stood there, panting. It wasn't until some time after that Matsumoto had approached. Upon sight of her, Hinamori burst into tears. She could've killed Matsumoto and the other two taichous.

Hinamori's mind floated back to where she sat at Hitsugaya's grave.

"You've been avenged, Shiro-chan." Her voice was now so quiet, in contrast to when she had shouted at Aizen. Deep down inside, she knew all this had been pointless; her statement was an empty one. Aizen's death did not bring Hitsugaya back; it had done nothing but quench Hinamori's own selfish desire.

Tears started falling from her eyes. She whispered his name, now sobbing. She had loved him. She knew that now. She had loved every bit of him, from his white hair to his serious face to his aqua eyes. But now it was too late. What she would've given to go back in time and tell him that she loved him! She began sobbing now.

"Toushirou…" She reached out her hand to touch the smooth stone of his grave.

It was still as cold as ice.

End

Arigatou for reading! This is my second Bleach one shot, and I think (forgive me, I haven't been in the world of one shots long) that this is a pretty long one shot. Thank you to everyone who reviewed my first one shot, Missing, as well. I'll probably write more one shots soon. Seeya.


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